burned out.

Side note: I wrote this a few weeks ago (which would explain the lack of posts and videos recently) and luckily I'm starting to move out of this state but I still wanted to share this regardless.

As of late, I've been feeling like I'm lacking something.

Having finally finished my degree and finally having the time to create and do whatever I want to - this free time has also been burdensome. If I'm being honest, all it's provided me is the feeling of self-doubt and 0000 ideas.

Due to social media, I'm faced with the amazing work of my peers, (both degree work and YouTube) whilst simultaneously questioning my own and consistently feeling like i'm physically stuck in a pile of mud. Whenever I try to come to my senses and start something new, I either get cold feet or I suddenly lack the ability to produce anything likeable. But I keep telling myself that this is a common feeling ... right?

Doing a design degree has helped me in a lot of ways but also hindered me in others. I miss my sixth form art classes; the excessive painting and drawing, completing my homework in my sketchbook every week and using the oddest of materials like egg yolks and tippex to create something representative of myself.

And now?

I can barely pick up a pencil.

If I consider myself an artist, then why can't I create like one?

I came across a Skillshare course the other day titled 'Creative Breakthrough: 8 Exercises to Power Your Creativity, Confidence & Career' and it surprisingly helped change my perspective on things. The most memorable piece of advice being: "if you keep jealousy inside, it becomes toxic. But if you can say it out loud in a positive way, you can turn it into admiration." (as well as the second part - "turning jealousy into get your ass back in the studio." As much as I do love the work I produce holistically, there's still a long way to go in terms of growing confidence in both myself and my skills. But lucky for me, I now have all the time in the world to do so.

I guess it's finally time for me to stop sulking and try to "get my ass back in the studio."

see ya later